Change for Living Counseling: A Reflection on the Climb

Change for Living Counseling: A Reflection on the Climb

A Reflection on the Climb

I recently read a colleague at Aspire Counseling's (cool name, huh) blog and it gave me something to think about.  It was on the role of therapists and how they are perceived by clients, especially if we are perceived as infallible experts.  I recently heard an ACT trainer talk about how therapists are just like everyone else; that we all have our mountains to climb, but that a particular therapist’s may just be different than the one a client is climbing. The imagery goes on further to say that therapists just may have a certain helpful perspective or view of a client’s struggles on their mountain from the distance of the therapist's mountain. I like that visual because it acknowledges that therapists are no different than anyone else…except maybe we have a little more training and equipment for the big climb :-).  

A Great New Resource

Happy New Year.

The new year is often a time of reflection and planning. If you are like most of us, you are evaluating the past year, looking forward to what this new year has to offer, and trying to figure out how you're going to accomplish your goals. If one of your goals is to have a fuller, more meaningful life, than I have an invaluable resource for creating this. I recently discovered a great resource and one that I have been using to help clients explore the skills to live a more vibrant life.

I have recently started studying an approach called ACT or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. This approach focuses on accepting that feelings are an unavoidable part of the human condition and that trying to avoid them causes greater suffering. It also incorporates mindfulness and essentially trying to live in the moment and be present. Lastly, it helps people identify their values and the vision they have for who they want to be and helps them make a commitment to living this life, no matter what feelings might seem to be obstacles.

ACT teaches people how to change their experience with their thoughts, especially the negative, self-defeating ones, so that you are not trapped by them. Essentially, by learning to accept your feelings (rather than working hard to avoid them), and understanding your thoughts for what they are (perceptions, not facts or reality), you are able to actively participate in the life you want to have. This may not mean you will not experience pain, sadness and anger, but it means you will also experience all the joy that comes with living the life you envision. In other words, your life will be rich and full and one that you value.

One of the best resources I've found so far with helping people understand and apply these concepts in a very user friendly way ('cuz this stuff is hard work that is not easy to do), is "Get Out of Your Mind, and Into Your Life" workbook by Steven Hayes (who is also the founding researcher/clinician of ACT). His book uses humor and examples to illustrate the concepts in a way that makes it understandable and entertaining. His work is also empirically supported by much of the clinical research he and several others have conducted.

So with the New Year, take the leap into your life and make a commitment to living the fullest life you can. I am always available to help you in this journey. Please don't hesitate to contact me if you'd like to schedule sessions for us to work together on this workbook.

Change for Living (CFL) Mental Health & Allied Professionals Network Now on Meetup

The Triangle Therapist Meetup is soon to be the Change For Living (CFL) Mental Health & Allied Professionals Network. We will still be available on the meetup site (until we decide to organize independent of meetup).

If you're a private practice therapist or allied professional (massage therapist, OBGYN, PCP, website design, just to name a few) and running a small business, this may be just the group for you. The network is designed to help us create business that are profitable and fulfilling through education, sharing resources and knowledge and cross referring to one another.

Please go to the CFL Mental Health & Allied Professionals Network site on meetup.com or you drop me an email at changeforliving@yahoo.com. I'm excited about helping each other grow.

Check It Out

I'm really excited. I just revamped my website and it's now up and running. Check it out at www.changeforliving.com.

I welcome your feedback and suggestions.

Help Get Me Some Sleep

Most people under stress or with anxiety have problems with sleep.

Sleep is vital to our mental and physical health.   Having had problems with sleep at various times in my life, especially related to stress, I know how it wreaks havoc on the ability to function and enjoy life.  Obviously, reducing stress and anxiety helps, but good "sleep hygiene" is always vital to improved sleep duration and quality.  Here are some things that have worked for me and/or some suggestions I've seen in my research on how to get better sleep:

• Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, even on weekends and holidays (for me as a night person, this means going to bed late & waking up late consistently).
• Your bed and bedroom should only be used for sleeping and sex (ugh, no TV :-(.
• Try not to take naps, especially close to bedtime.
• Limit the time you spend in bed. Get into bed only when you're sleepy. If you don't fall asleep within 15 minutes or if you wake up and can't fall back to sleep within 15 minutes, get out of bed and do something relaxing until you feel sleepy.
• Avoid caffeine (found in coffee, many teas, chocolate, and soda) after 2 p.m., or noon if you are caffeine-sensitive. Avoiding caffeine entirely may be a good idea if you have panic attacks.
• Avoid eating foods that contribute to heartburn or any gastrointestinal discomfort.
• Don't drink alcohol for at least 2 hours before bedtime.
• Limit fluids before bedtime to minimize nighttime trips to the bathroom.
• Stop smoking, or at least do not smoke for several hours before going to bed.
• Exercise regularly, but not within a few hours of bedtime. An afternoon or morning workout is ideal (though I've found this late night workouts not to be a problem for me).
• Keep the bedroom cool, dark, and as quiet as possible. Stimulii is disruptive to sleep (Our brains are wired to wake us up to protect us.  If only my dogs and cat would gain some insight about this).
• Replace a worn-out or uncomfortable mattress.
• Take a hot bath before bedtime.  It's relaxing.
• Use relaxation techniques to unwind and help you ready your mind and body for sleep.
• Prepare your body for sleep several hours before bedtime by engaging in relaxing, non-stimulating activities, such as reading, medication, stretching, listening to calming music and/or anything that quiets the mind and body, and avoid stimulating TV, conversations or music.
• Do not have the TV or music on when trying to sleep. Subtle changes in volume can cause an alert response and wake you up (I learned this the hard way).